EMDR Intensives: A Faster, More Focused Path to Healing (Especially for Busy People)
At Obsidian Counseling & Wellness, we meet so many people who are carrying a lot—emotionally, professionally, personally—and they want to feel better without adding another stressful commitment to their already full lives. For many people with demanding careers, parenting responsibilities, or constantly shifting schedules, the idea of weekly therapy feels almost impossible.
If that’s you, you’re not alone.
And that’s exactly where EMDR Intensives can be life-changing.
So… what is an EMDR Intensive?
Think of an EMDR Intensive as pressing pause on the chaos of daily life and giving yourself a protected space to truly heal. Instead of spreading therapy across weeks or months, the work you’d normally do slowly is done gently, safely, and efficiently in a longer, uninterrupted block of time.
This may be:
4 hours per week
6 hours per week
8 hours per week
We choose the length together based on what feels right for you.
During an intensive, you’re not rushing.
You’re not bracing for the next meeting.
You’re not squeezing therapy between responsibilities.
Instead, you get space, focus, and support—without the emotional “start–stop” of weekly sessions.
Why EMDR Intensives Are a Powerful Option for People With Full Lives and Full Plates
Many of the people we work with tell us that life feels full—sometimes beautifully full, sometimes overwhelmingly full. Adding weekly therapy into that mix can feel more stressful than supportive.
Some are professionals or business owners who need long stretches of uninterrupted work time.
Others are caregivers, parents, organizers, or the emotional anchor for everyone around them.
Many are all of the above.
What they share is this:
They want relief. They want clarity. They want to feel better.
They just don’t have space for therapy that drags on for months.
EMDR Intensives are designed to meet that need.
Instead of breaking the work into small weekly pieces, an intensive gives you a dedicated window to settle in, stay present, and move through meaningful healing—without being pulled in and out emotionally.
People choose intensives because:
Their schedules are already full
They want faster, more efficient results
They feel more grounded when they can stay with the work
They need a reset that doesn’t require long-term rearranging
They do best with deep focus for a short, intentional period of time
On a scale from 1-10 of stress, they are usually at the higher end and want to make a change now
And for entrepreneurs and business owners, intensives make even more sense:
High-impact work in a single, planned block
No repeated disruptions to workflow
Better emotional regulation for leadership and decision-making
A strong return on time and energy
EMDR Intensives honor your reality and offer a supportive, focused path forward—without the months-long commitment of weekly therapy.
Who EMDR Intensives Can Help
EMDR Intensives are especially supportive for people navigating:
A specific trauma or difficult event
Patterns you can’t seem to shift
Anxiety or emotional triggers that feel overwhelming
Stress or burnout
Childhood experiences that still affect your relationships or daily life
Preparing for something stressful (presentation, interview, major decision)
Before your intensive, we take time to understand the full context of your story so the work feels grounded, meaningful, and connected to your real life.
Is There Research Behind This?
Yes. A growing body of research shows that EMDR Intensives can be just as effective—and sometimes even more effective—than weekly EMDR. Studies show:
Faster reduction of PTSD symptoms
Lower emotional reactivity
Less avoidance
Higher completion rates
People often stay more engaged and experience significant change in a shorter period of time.
It’s Not for Every Situation, and That’s Okay
We’ll always help you determine whether an intensive is the right next step. If you’re in crisis, extremely overwhelmed, or dealing with significant dissociation, we may begin with stabilization first.
This is about safety, pacing, and supporting you with care.
What EMDR Intensives Look Like at Obsidian Counseling & Wellness
We offer:
4-hour intensives (ideal for a single target or recent event)
6-hour intensives (our most popular—perfect for deeper work on 1–2 core memories)
8-hour intensives (best for layered or complex experiences)
Because intensives use an extended-session format, insurance does not cover them, and they are offered as private-pay services. Many clients share that they experience more insight and relief in a few hours than they felt in months of weekly therapy.
If You’re a Busy Person Who Wants Meaningful Change Without Months of Appointments
You deserve support that works with your life—not against it.
An EMDR Intensive offers you the chance to:
✨ slow down
✨ reset
✨ understand your patterns
✨ release what’s been weighing you down
✨ walk away with real, noticeable relief
All within a focused, intentional block of time.
If you’re curious or want to explore whether this might be a good fit for you, we’re here to talk about it.
Learn more or schedule a consultation today by filling out the form below.
Why We Stay in the Dirty Pool: Choosing Healing When Familiar Pain Feels Safer
Two pools side by side (clean blue vs. murky/green). “Two swimming pools—one clear blue, one murky—representing familiar pain vs. healing.”
Quick Take: Stuck Doesn’t Mean Broken
We often cling to what’s familiar—even when it’s hurting us—because our nervous systems equate “known” with “safer than the unknown.” In this post, we’ll use a vivid metaphor—the Dirty Pool vs. the Clean Pool—to explore why so many high-performing women stay stuck in patterns like perfectionism, burnout, and people-pleasing…and what it takes to climb out and choose healing. If you’re tired of treading water in murky emotional patterns, there’s another way. We’re here to help you get there.
The Concept: Why Familiar Pain Feels Safer Than Change
It’s one of the most common human patterns: We stay in situations that are uncomfortable, unhealthy, or emotionally draining—not because we love suffering, but because they’re familiar.
If you grew up needing to perform to feel valued…you learn to perform. If you learned that saying “no” risks rejection…you keep saying “yes.” If chaos was normal…calm can feel suspicious.
Your nervous system is wired to detect threat. What it knows—even if it’s painful—can feel less threatening than stepping into something new, unproven, and unpredictable. This is why change is so hard, and why healing takes courage.
To bring this to life, let’s step outside for a moment and imagine two swimming pools sitting side by side.
The Two Pools Metaphor
Picture yourself standing barefoot on warm concrete. In front of you are two pools.
Pool #1: The Clean Pool
The water is clear, blue, and sparkling. You can see the bottom. It looks refreshing and safe. Sunlight dances across the surface. It’s the pool you’d choose for a perfect summer afternoon.
Pool #2: The Dirty Pool
The water is cloudy and dark. There’s algae clinging to the edges. A faint smell rises from the surface. Leaves, debris, maybe even something slimy float on top. No one’s cared for this pool in a long time.
If I asked you which pool you’d rather swim in, you’d say the clean one—of course.
But here’s the twist: Many of us are still standing waist-deep in the dirty pool. We don’t move—not because we prefer slime—but because we’ve gotten used to it. We’ve learned where to stand, how to avoid swallowing water, how to brace for the smell. We’ve adapted.
And the clean pool? It’s right there. But getting to it means climbing out—exposing ourselves to air, to change, to effort, to “what if.”
What the Dirty Pool Represents
The dirty pool stands in for the familiar patterns that once helped us cope but no longer serve us:
Perfectionism: “If I do everything right, I’ll be safe/loved/approved.”
People-Pleasing: “If I meet everyone else’s needs, I won’t be abandoned.”
Overfunctioning/Overgiving: Caring for everyone but yourself.
Numbing Out: Scrolling, drinking, overworking to avoid feeling.
Chronic Self-Criticism: Beating yourself up before anyone else can.
These behaviors are not character flaws. They’re adaptive survival strategies. They helped you get through something. But over time, living in them is like staying in cloudy, stagnant water: you can survive there, but you can’t truly thrive.
What the Clean Pool Represents
The clean pool represents regulated living and healing—not perfection, not constant calm, but a life where you have:
A clearer connection to your feelings and needs.
Healthy boundaries that protect your energy.
Permission to rest, say no, and be human.
Tools for regulating stress and overwhelm.
Relationships built on authenticity, not performance.
In therapy, we don’t just drag you out of the dirty pool and toss you in the clean one. We help you build the steps between them.
Why We Stay Stuck: The Psychology Beneath the Pattern
Leaving the dirty pool triggers real nervous system alarms. Here are common internal roadblocks:
1. Familiar = Safer
Even when it hurts, the brain leans toward what it recognizes.
2. Change Requires Grief
You may need to grieve old identities: "The one who holds it all together." "The good daughter." "The reliable one."
3. Attachment Wounds
If love felt conditional, boundaries now can feel like risking connection.
4. Trauma Responses
Hypervigilance, freeze, fawn, or shutdown can keep you stuck in survival mode.
5. Shame Narratives
“I should be able to handle this.” Shame keeps you quiet—and in the pool.
Naming these layers reduces self-blame and opens space for compassionate change.
How to Climb Out: A Layered Path to Healing
At Obsidian Counseling & Wellness, we see therapy as something done in layers. The thing that brings you in (“I’m so burned out at work”) is often a symptom, not the root. Together we gently explore what’s underneath.
Our Therapeutic Approach Includes:
Trauma-Informed Care rooted in safety, pacing, and consent.
EMDR to help reprocess stuck trauma and reduce emotional reactivity for acute trauma & Brainspotting for chronic traumas.
Somatic Strategies to reconnect mind and body; regulate the nervous system.
Attachment-Based Therapy to repair relational patterns and build secure self-connection.
Family & Systems Support because you don’t live—or heal—in isolation. We see individuals, children (age ~7+), parents, and partners.
Healing is not a cannonball into the clean pool. It’s stepping out, rinsing off, learning to trust warm, clear water—one session, one breath, one boundary at a time.
Try This: 3 Regulation Tools for When You’re Overwhelmed
Here are three quick practices you can use when life feels like murky water rising to your chin. (These are featured in our free downloadable handout—see below!)
1. 4-7-8 Breath
Inhale 4 • Hold 7 • Exhale 8. Repeat up to 4 rounds. Slows the stress response.
2. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
Name 5 things you see • 4 you can touch • 3 you hear • 2 you smell • 1 you taste. Reconnects you to the present.
3. Hand Over Heart Reset
Place your hand over your heart (or belly) and say: “I’m safe. I can pause. I’m doing my best.” Self-soothing through touch + compassionate self-talk.
When to Reach Out for Support
Consider reaching out if you notice:
You’re constantly overextended but can’t stop saying yes.
Anxiety, irritability, or shutdown are showing up at home.
Perfectionism is draining the joy out of work, parenting, or relationships.
Past experiences feel “stuck” in your body or reactions.
You’re curious what life could feel like if you weren’t always surviving.
You don’t have to wait until you’re drowning. Support is available now.
Work With Us at Obsidian Counseling & Wellness
We specialize in helping high-achieving women (and those who love them) move from survival strategies—perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout—into sustainable emotional health. Our work is layered, relational, and personalized.
Who We Serve:
Children ~7+ • Teens • Adults • Parents • Women navigating work, caregiving, and identity • Families and partners
Modalities We Use:
Trauma-Informed Therapy • EMDR • Brainspotting • Somatic Experiencing-Informed Approaches • Attachment-Based Theories • Parenting & Family Support • Internal Family Systems
How We Meet:
In-person in Northbrook, Illinois • Secure Telehealth • Workshops • Community Education
Download Your Free Mini Guide
Want a printable version of the regulation tools in this post? Grab our free 1-page download: Mini Guide: How to Regulate When You’re Overwhelmed.
Inside You’ll Get:
✔ 3 fast calming techniques
✔ A self-compassion script
✔ Space to jot triggers + what helps
✔ A reminder that you’re not alone
[Fill out the form below and we will share it with you.]
You don’t have to keep swimming in the dirty pool. If you’re ready to explore something clearer, safer, and more restorative, we’d be honored to walk with you.
→ Book a consultation today
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→ Ask about EMDR or trauma therapy in the North Shore area